Ethical Gaslighting (Framing)

The Art of the Mind-Fuck: Why Your "Facts" Are Losing Money

Most marketers are insufferable nerds.

They think humans are rational computers who analyze data, weigh pros and cons, and make logical purchasing decisions.

If you believe that, you are the kind of guy who thinks the stripper actually likes you. 

Your customers are not rational. They are shaved apes with anxiety and credit cards. Their lizard brains are driving the car, and the logical part of their brain is tied up in the trunk trying to remember their Netflix password.

If you are just presenting "facts" and "features," you are losing. You aren't marketing; you're reading a spec sheet to a toddler.

You need to stop selling reality and start selling Framing.

What is Framing? (The "Consent" Analogy)

Framing is the context wrapper you put around facts to tell the monkey brain how to feel about them. It’s not what you say; it’s the lighting you put it under.

Let’s put this in terms you’ll understand: dating.

If you walk up to a stranger in a dimly lit parking garage at 3:00 AM, wearing a hoodie, and ask them if they want to "go back to your place," someone is calling the cops. You are a predator.

If you ask that exact same question to the exact same person at a rooftop bar in Manhattan, while wearing a $5,000 suit and holding a martini, you are a "catch."

The "fact" (the question) didn't change. The Frame changed.

In marketing, if you don't set the frame, the customer will set it for you. And their default frame is usually: "This is too expensive, and I don't need it."

Your job is to shatter that frame and replace it with one where not buying from you makes them look like an idiot.

Here is how to weaponize framing to pick the lock on their wallets.

1. The "Ugly Friend" Frame (Price Anchoring)

Humans have no idea what anything is actually worth. We only know what things are worth compared to other things.

If you tell me your service is $5,000, my brain immediately asks: "Compared to what?" If the answer is "$0," then $5,000 sounds expensive.

You need to control the comparison.

Never present your price naked. It’s indecent. Always stand it next to something horrifyingly expensive.

If you want to sell a $2,000 watch, put it next to a $20,000 Rolex. Suddenly, $2,000 doesn't feel like a splurge; it feels like financial responsibility.

In the dating world, this is called bringing your ugly friend to the bar. You look like a supermodel by comparison. In marketing, it’s called Anchoring. Do it.

2. The "Financial Hemorrhage" Frame (Loss Aversion)

People are terrified of losing what they have. They will fight ten times harder to keep $100 from being stolen than they will work to earn a new $100.

Stop framing your product around "gains" and "benefits." That's boring. Frame it around stopping the bleeding.

• Weak Frame: "Our software helps you save $500 a month." (Yawn. I'll do it later.)

• Savage Frame: "Refusing to pay for this software to 'save money' is like refusing to buy a condom to save $5, and ending up with 18 years of child support. You aren't being thrifty. You're being reckless." (Panic. I should buy the protection.) 

Pain motivates. Pleasure is just a "nice to have."

3. The "Only Fan" Frame (Exclusivity)

Nothing kills desire faster than availability. If everyone can have it, nobody wants it.

If you act like you are desperate for their business, they will treat you like a desperate option. You need to frame your offering as a velvet rope, not a revolving door.

• Weak Frame: "Please sign up, we are open to everyone!"

• Savage Frame: "This isn't a sales pitch; it's an audition. I have one slot left. You have 10 minutes to convince me to take your money, before I call your biggest competitor and help them turn your headquarters into a Spirit Halloween."

And here is the kicker: It has to be true.

I literally only take two clients. One seat is taken. One is empty.

If you don't take the seat, your enemy will. And once they sign the check, I am contractually obligated to hunt you down, steal your market share, and eat your lunch.

I’m not a consultant; I’m a weapon system. The weapon doesn't care who pulls the trigger, but you definitely don't want to be on the wrong end of the barrel.

That isn't a threat. It’s a promise. And unlike your ex, I actually keep my promises.

Writing the check shouldn't feel like paying a bill. It should feel like winning a trophy. Because it is. 

The Verdict: Control the Reality

Framing isn't lying. It’s directing attention.

If you sell a hammer, don't talk about the wood handle and the steel head. Frame it as the tool that builds the house that protects their family from the elements.

Stop letting the inmates run the asylum. Dictate the reality you want them to live in. A reality where your product is the only logical choice, and your competitors are expensive mistakes.

Frame or get framed. Your choice.

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