Fake Gurus

The Guru Grift: Why Your "Mentor" is Broke

If you see a 22-year-old standing in front of a Lamborghini telling you how to get rich, run. That isn't his car. It’s a rental, and he has to return it by 5 PM or he loses his security deposit.

The internet is infested. It is crawling with "Business Coaches," "Dropshipping Experts," and "Alpha Male Mentors" who promise you the world for the low, low price of $997.

They are the fake gurus.

They are selling you a map to a gold mine that they have never visited. They are selling you swimming lessons, but they are terrified of the water.

They are the optical illusion of success. And you are falling for it.

The "Course on Courses" Ponzi Scheme

Here is the dirty secret of the industry: Most of these guys don't make money doing the thing they are teaching.

They make money teaching you how to do the thing.

• The "Amazon FBA Expert"? He hasn't shipped a package since 2018. His store got banned for selling counterfeit spatulas.

• The "Crypto King"? He lost his life savings on a coin named after a dog and now lives in a van.

• The "Real Estate Tycoon"? He owns zero property. He sublets a one-bedroom apartment that smells like Axe Body Spray and desperation.

If they truly had a "Secret System" to print millions of dollars on autopilot, why would they sell it to you for $47?

If I found a map to a buried treasure chest, I wouldn't sell photocopies of the map to strangers on the internet. I would go dig up the damn chest.

The "Passive Income" Fantasy

This is the biggest lie in the book. The idea that you can set up a business, sip a margarita on a beach in Bali, and watch the cash roll in without lifting a finger.

"Passive Income" is a myth invented to sell courses to lazy people.

The only true 'passive income' is inheritance or winning the Powerball. Everything else is just a job you haven't started yet. 

Real business is war. Real business is waking up at 4 AM because a server crashed. Real business is getting sued by a customer because they choked on your product. Real business is paying taxes that make you want to vomit.

If your "Mentor" is posting photos of himself lounging by a pool all day, he isn't a CEO. He is unemployed.

The 22-Year-Old "Life Coach"

This is my personal favorite. A kid who just graduated high school wants to charge you $5,000 to "optimize your mindset" and "unlock your potential."

Listen to me very carefully: You cannot be a "Life Coach" if your biggest life struggle so far was slow WiFi at your parents' house.

You cannot teach me how to navigate a divorce, a bankruptcy, or a lawsuit if the only thing you've ever navigated is a drive-thru.

Wisdom comes from scars, not from reading Rich Dad Poor Dad once and buying a ring light.

The Airbnb Illusion

Social media is a highlight reel of lies.

That mansion they are filming in? It’s an Airbnb. They split the cost with 10 other "Gurus" for the weekend just to film content. If you look closely, you can see the "Live, Laugh, Love" sign the owner forgot to take down.

That private jet? It’s a grounded prop plane you can rent by the hour just to take photos on the stairs. They didn't fly anywhere. They took a picture on the tarmac and then drove home in a Honda Civic.

The Verdict

Stop looking for a Savior. Stop looking for a "System." Stop looking for a "Hack."

Look for the guys with the scars.

• Trust the guy who shows you his failures, not just his wins.

• Trust the guy who shows you the P&L statement, not the rented Lambo.

• Trust the guy who is too busy working to film a "Day in the Life" TikTok.

Success is boring. It is repetitive. It is hard. If someone tells you it’s easy, they are reaching for your wallet.

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